Therapy for Overachievers and Perfectionists
Feel a New Sense of Self-Acceptance and Compassion
The Constant Pressure
If you identify as an overachiever & perfectionist, then you know what it’s like to have an inner pressure to do things just right and be the best. Likely, this has been something you’ve lived with for a long time and maybe even since childhood.
However long you’ve felt this, you are always known as someone who can be counted on and probably out-perform your peers whether that was in academics, sports, socially, career, family, or in all these areas and more.
You’re Fiercely Independent
Pushing yourself to do well is not inherently bad and most likely, you have reaped the benefits of functioning in this way. It has probably even made you feel great about yourself at times and had you feeling like you were on top of the world. This effect can drive you to do more and more to succeed. But now, you can feel it taking the toll. Having this approach to life has led you to feel over-burdened and tired and it’s difficult if not impossible to ask others for help. You might even avoid it because, in your mind, you should be able to do it all. You might even rationalize that they don’t know how to do it the “right” way.
What About Your Needs?
Burnout is a word that you might associate with this which can have you feeling disengaged across all domains of your life and struggling deep inside to feel good about yourself. This can show up in relationships as resentment and frustration feeling like you are doing it all for everyone. In fact, you might even feel like it’s your job to be there for everyone in your life while having no time to take care of your own needs. It can even be hard for some people to say no to others feeling like you are obligated to do what is asked of you.
What is Perfection Hiding?
You’ve heard the word boundaries, I’m sure, and maybe have even thought to yourself that you need to get some of those! But how? And what exactly does that look like and how do I go about making these changes? Do I even want to?
People who are overachievers and perfectionists are often socialized to be this way as well as it being an adaptation to hard things that may have happened earlier on in life. It’s common for people to cope with having a low sense of self-worth by becoming overachievers and perfectionists in order to get external validation and praise from other people to feel good about themselves. In some families, this might have been the only way to get positive attention was by performing well! That sends the message that you aren’t going to be accepted if you don’t keep this high standard up.
Let’s Connect
If this is you, I want you to know that it’s ok and it probably once worked really well for you but now it’s not. We will work together on facing your inner critical dialogue that comes up when you aren’t “good enough” or if you make a mistake so that you don’t have to continue to listen to the intense pressure inside telling you to do more and do it the best. You will learn to love and embrace yourself for who you are and grow your ability to be compassionate with yourself and not need or crave that external validation so much.
